Mid-Lancs XC – Chorley (10th February)

 

On arrival at this event, held at the SPECIAIST LANGUAGE ACADEMY (one ‘ell of a school apparently), the main focus of attention, it must be admitted, was once again the Wesham marquee. To the strains of a sea-shanty, nine calloused Wesham runners manned the capstan (a nautical expression) to pitch it. Some smart alec, or possibly alan, asked innocently whether they had planning permission but it was too late to complain – the footings had been dug.

 

It was shortly after the ladies team arrived, I observed, that the erection of this magnificent edifice reached its climax. The call went out to all hands (that’s enough nautical expressions, Ed), and every available Wesham member stood by his post where, pulling and pushing as one, they brought the great structure upright. And went inside.

 

We changed in the rain!

 

It is a function of the timetable at these events that we men are not able to watch much of the ladies race, so your reporter is able to provide only the bare bones of a commentary. But three features are worthy of comment. What price experience… How I admired the audacious Andrea Smith who in the final yard of the race snuck by her seriously irritated rival at the false finish to gain a place for the ladies team; how I marvelled at the determination of Bev Wright who sprinted home strongly despite appearing to have taken up mud wrestling somewhere out on the course (I gather you can get tickets on eBay for the rematch with Kath Hoyer at Blackburn); and how I smiled at the craft of young Hilary Goorney and Eileen “I’ll do anything for a man” Swallow who by slipping to the rear of the field found themselves running into the arms of the onrushing (and very attractive) leaders of the men’s race. No wonder Jono finished with such a broad smile. (I guess winning may have had something to do with it, too.)

 

For my part, I welcomed the better going at this venue – ‘good to soft’ according to Dave Heaton (who dragged himself from the bookies to join us) but I do feel the course would benefit from a handrail on the descent to the stream. (No, not a Stannah stairlift, Peter). Heading onto the flat after the mountaineering section, I wondered whether it was only me who failed to solve the riddle of the randomly scattered letters around the course. Was this some ghastly word-game? At one stage, I imagined fondly that I was following the letters alphabetically and I looked forward to reaching a well deserved zzz; until I realised that rather like Alice I was locked into a macabre nightmare of infinite regress - from “U” to “K” and thence around and around like a maze-entrapped rat.

 

Escaping at last, I underwent the rare experience of overtaking several competitors on the run-in. I was able to surprise them (and indeed the world of athletics) with my sprint finish. A deep joy was dampened only by the knowledge that Dave “nearly 60” Wood was way out ahead. Well, there is always Blackburn. See you there.

 

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